we're all stars in the galaxy

i was born under libra, with capricorn rising. and though i hardly believe the idea of the stars controlling who we are and how we are fated, i must admit that i do fit the profile. i am quiet and reserved around strangers, but i can be very social among intimates. in fact, i live for socializing. people are my favorite things.

but that's another story. i am also very indecisive. i hate making decisions, especially those that affect others (just try and get me to pick a restaurant for dinner...i dare you). i'm very good at offering up options, but i hate to impose my will on others. i also am amused so easily and like too many things, and have found it difficult to have only one.

which brings me to my current dilemma. four boys, all uniquely attractive. an industry executive with an amazing body and powerful lips. a dancer with sparkling eyes and a gregarious nature. a shy and sarcastic actor who wears glasses and blushes when you kiss him. a young man with a nice ass, a great smile, and lingering eyes. all new and bright and totally crushed on by yours truly.

i'm not really good at the dating-more-than-one-person-at-a-time thing. and i'm a nervous wreck trying to divine their intentions. but what the fuck am i so torn up about? life is for savouring after all.



though i know i should be strong
i fear that i'll be weak and you'll be gone
though i know i should believe
i feel doubt and leave.

matthew | archive |

it's raining men

why, o why, am i finding this to be such a problem?

matthew | archive |

i could have danced all night

so much happened today, i'm kinda weirded out. it's like the cosmos vomited all over me, but in a good way.

it all started when i met doogie howser, m.d. today.....

matthew | archive |

unix unique

anyone out there with ftp, a fine knowledge of MT, and lots of spare time on their hands?

matthew | archive |

sex and the suburb

it's telling that the most fun i've had in pasadena in a long time was a trip to the drug store. of course, we were perusing the contraceptives aisle. we were very loud in front of the pharmacists, discussing spermacide and condoms (not for me, alas), and how the selection of lube paled in comparison to the sav-on in west hollywood. and is that a penis pump in a rite-aid?!?! well, i'll never. but then again, it is pasadena.

i also got to see a former beau's face occasionally from behind tom skeritt's head on last week's will and grace. apparently by guest star he meant extra. and by extra i mean background furniture.

matthew | archive |

you are a whore, darlin'

i met elizabeth berkley tonight. i can die now.

matthew | archive |

put the lime in the coconut

i have exhausted every form of beverage in the house. except, of course, for alcohol.

martini, anywone?

matthew | archive |

is it live, or is it memorex?

the spastic|blue cam has returned. only it's the van nuys cam. except it's filmed in hollywood.

matthew | archive |

always a bridesmaid...

what is with this sudden rash of boyfriends named michael? it seems like every gay man i know is shacking up with an archangel.

matthew | archive |

the boy from ipanima

this is why i love living in an arrid paradise. when it does rain, it was all the crap out of the sky. and we have beautiful, warm days afterward. i've been wearing shorts today and sitting on the balcony reading. i'm gonna go hike up to the top of the canyon and just look out--maybe i could even see the ocean? mmm...cheese sandwiches.

matthew | archive |

the hidden dimension

think of some place you haven't been in over two years. don't think of what it looks like. close your eyes. feel the air of the space. smell the familiar odors. hear the sounds that echo through the area. what does it taste like? can you remember the place with your whole body?

matthew | archive |

bushes

i swear this should be the theme song for the weho parks and recreation department.


if subway cars
are full hearts
then someone's probably in

if the bushes in the park
groan in the dark
then someone's probably making

if the man with the knife
is after his wife
then that might have to do with

if a man with the power
to build the highest tower
then that's a substitute for

no matter what we do
i'm telling you
all we really want is


matthew | archive |

one is the loneliest number

i remember when i was in new york, i always felt a rush of adreniline when walkiing up out of the subway and into the canyons of midtown. perhaps stumbling upon rockerfeller center while parading down fifth avenue or eating pizza at four am on bleeker street; i would stop and realize i was in metropolis. it happened a lot in boston, too--convergences of place and culture that just screamed brahmin. and yesterday los angeles was screaming her name for everyone to hear.

i awoke and went for a hike in runyan canyon---and nearly stepped in heather locklear's dog's crap. hollywood boulevard was closed for filming. at the coffee bean, i overheard a couple debating whether to go to big bear or to catalina for thanksgiving. on fountain, i was nearly killed three times by cell-phone-talking soccer moms in mercedes-benz suvs and still didn't miss a beat or drop below 40 mph. and at the grove, i watched them assemble the christmas tree; they cut off all the branches and then re-attached them in a more aesthetically pleasing array.

and as i was driving over the crest of the santa monica mountains last night--just as i was crossing mulholland--i saw a shooting star. it blazed for a long time, and i almost expected it to fall to the ground and set beverly hills aflame. i'm not one to believe in superstitions or omens, but i made a wish nonethesless.

matthew | archive |

today, at work, some dangling threads of the cosmic fabric twisted themselves into a vortex of i'd-like-to-buy-the-world-a-coke-and-keep-it-company proportions. turns out B lived right next door to M (see the previous two posts). and S lives around the corner from Matteo (see me). and S knows C who lived across the hall from Matteo, who lives in the apartment of L who C was setting up with S. and then there was something about a wallet and a house and fraternal twins and a joke about the human vacuum cleaner.

i was going somewhere with this, but i forget.

matthew | archive |

why is it that whenever i like someone (and i so easily fall into insta-chrush mode), i get this sense of impending doom. it's as if the wicked witch of the west has locked me in the tower, cackling, "as soon as that hickey fades, he's gone bitch!"

yes, i know...therapy.

matthew | archive |