do you know what i love best about rainy days? the day after, when the sky is clear, the air is crisp, and the sun is brilliant. won't you come walk we me up the mountain or along the beach?
matthew | archive |

let me tell you about the cool kids.

the cool kids are fashionable. the cool kids are buddhists. the cool kids like music. the cool kids take photos. they are witty and creative. they know shit about chemistry and the history of science. they speak japanese. they travel to amsterdam and know the best places in new orleans. they educate jewish children and keep them from drowning. the cool kids are cute and cuddly and bake cakes.

if you do these things, you too will be cool.
matthew | archive |

if it weren't for the palm trees outside my window, and the fact that mount olympus looks nothing like twin peak, i'd swear that i'm in san francisco right now. it's so cold and overcast. time for some soup.

matthew | archive |

don't you just love it when wonderful people come back from vacations?

matthew | archive |

i had a moment of great internal conflict today. as i was sitting in the ultra modern furniture in the white shagged lobby of the standard hotel, awaiting a haircut (which was not to be), i picked up a copy of adbusters. the focus of the issue was on the Johanesberg convention on the environment, and sustainable consumption. and i look over at the guy wearing D&G jeans (who is reading the same issue of adbusters and waiting for the same stylist to cut his already-well-coiffed hair) and down at my steve maddens and diesel jeans, and i feel the pain that only the guilty feel.

but at least i looked damn good while i was destroying the earth.

matthew | archive |

remind me never to have long drawn out discussions about the politics of art. or to even follow other's conversations. especially if it's done over the internet.

matthew | archive |

why have i been so goddamn serious lately? i need to let my hair down and boogie before i turn old. (which, for those playing along at home, is in about two weeks.) fabulous is what i want to be. not that fucking pride-rainbow-blue-lame-circuit-boy-barbra-queer-as-fuck fabulocity. i wanna be debbie harry, halston, postmodern chic, stiletto stomping, artsy fartsy, chianti swigging fabulous. i wanna rock all night long and wake up in a strange place smelling of orange blossoms.

where, oh where has my groove gone?

matthew | archive |

it's amazing how a few notes can send my mind running and my heart racing. i can see the view of the hollywood sign from the deck, and the fox that i'd come across when driving home, and the dover towers apartment building on beverly boulevard. a few notes bringing back all of the summer. the heat and the nightly breezes, the smell of jimmy on my clothes, the feel of pomade as i did chad's hair every night. the constant barrage of ants. the pink martinis and the crumpled cocktail napkins in my pockets. high on caffiene and low on heartbreak. drag queens and sex and the city. i almost feel nostalgia for it all--silly what the passing of a few weeks can do. but that's all over now--not forgotten, but in the past. what notes will grace the coming season?

and i miss your warmth in the morning,
and the laughter when i can't stop yawning.
but the tears on my pillow are dried my dear,
and i'm gonna let it all go cause i have no fear.

matthew | archive |

and on the seventh day, He spoke.

matthew | archive |

they say money makes the world go round. personally, i think they're wrong. sex makes the world go round. what money does is prevents you from pulling out your hair in frustration.

the nice thing about a large, very wealthy institution is that they don't sweat a couple hundred bucks. i mean, yeah, they'll hunt you down and kill you and your kin, but if your financial aid is a little mixed up, it's okay, they understand, they'll take care of everything. public institutions, however, apparently go by the "fuck you" method of financial planning.

so, do i pay rent, or tuition?

matthew | archive |

good morning sun. good morning sky. good morning clouds. good morning ground. good morning palm tree. good morning mountains. good morning bird flying across the basin.

i look out my window and say good morning to you all.

matthew | archive |

miei amici-
i had the strangest dream last night. i was driving through tennessee. i know, it gets worse. and i stop at a fast food establishment to get a nice tasty beverage. and then i'm driving along, and it's all fuzzy, and i can barely see. then i pull into tulsa (i know i was in tennessee, but now i'm in oklahoma...see, i told you it got worse). and i pull into another fast food establishment, order another tasty beverage, and i have the same server. and i realize she's trying to poison me with my tasty beverage.

then i woke up. man, that must have been some bad crack last night.

cheers,
matteo

matthew | archive |

amici-

i know i'm supposed to miss september in boston. and i do. the warm rains, the lush greenness, the anticipation of fall....it was beautiful. but i'm pretty damn impressed with los angeles right now. the summer smog has finally petered out and you can see the huge mountains rising above the city skyline again. i sat at a sidewalk cafe, eating dinner and working on some articles, and i looked up and saw the sun setting behind the century towers, giving a warm glow to santa monica boulevard. from my balcony i can see a tiny sliver of the moon, glowing orange, resting above the lights of the city. i just want to get in my car and drive the boulevards to the ocean. and keep on driving.

cheers,
matteo

matthew | archive |

amici:

well, i'm back from pomona. i bet you didn't even miss me. i spent the weekend with a bunch of volleyball players. pretty much any progress i have made in making me feel comfortable with my slight stature has been dashed by being towered over by all of these girls. my sister's roommate said i was smaller than she expected--isn't that nice? i think i'll start wearing high heels. they'll make me look taller and accentuate my glutes and calves!

not much else going on. still looking for a man. still looking for fun. still trying to settle in to the new place. i have developed a very intimate relationship with the .method line of cleaning products (jhames, have you tried them? they're target, they're environmentally friendly, and they're minimalist in design--what more could you ask for?). yes, it's a wild week here in chez mathieu.

cheers,
matteo

matthew | archive |

amici-

as much as i love being a loner, i sometimes go along with the crowd. actually, i was more curious about what i would come up with than interested in promolgating the meme (though i have found them all very interesting). so, here's one hundred things about me:


01) i am short, and sometimes pretend like it doesn't bother me.
02) i like the power puff girls
03) i sometimes forget to eat.
04) curry is my favorite food.
05) i could never remember pi beyond two digits, and i didn't really care either.
06) i like gewertztramiener.
07) i remember faces better than names
08) i don't understand overt displays of patriotism.
09) halloween and carnival are my two favorite holidays.
10) i was captain of the academic decathlon team
11) i have three scars.
12) sentences beginning with i bother me.
13) i use 'anyway' too much.
14) i studied ballet for four years.
15) i can go months without television, but only days without the internet.
16) i am torn between minimalism and romanticism.
17) i am careless with money.
18) i examine the lighting instruments when i'm at dance clubs.
19) i prefer print to web editions.
20) my mother worries i'll become an alcoholic.
21) i find it hard to sleep with only one pillow.
22) i like rainy days (in moderation).
23) many of my exes are still close friends.
24) i am horrible about long-distance correspondance.
25) the occult interests me, even though i don't take it too seriously.
26) i can't wear orange.
27) i'm eating a granola bar right now.
28) three years of piano and all i can play is allouette.
29) i have never liked my body.
30) i probably never will
31) i published a literary magazine for a few years.
32) i like spectacles.
33) i don't know if god exists, but i'm pretty sure he doesn't have a grey beard.
34) i'm a sucker for beautiful eyes.
35) i hate going to bed and i hate getting up.
36) i've read from the first folio.
37) i know how to use powertools.
38) my living room was once decorated with barbra.
39) i never throw away letters.
40) glazed donuts.
41) i stay up too late.
42) i am always late.
43) when in an airplane, i can't help but visualizing it crash.
44) i prefer hardwood floors to carpets.
45) i would like a garden, but i'd never give it the proper care.
46) i'm not as ambitious as i should be.
47) i have had several crushes on bloggers (but i won't say whom).
48) i make to do lists and then ignore them.
49) i wish i had a magnetic personality.
50) i am a people who needs people kinda person.
51) i directed a rock version of the wizard of oz--glinda said fuck.
52) maps fascinate me.
53) i have resided in fresno, wishon cove, cambridge, boston, west hollywood, and los angeles.
54) i have spent significant time in san francisco and new york.
55) i have partied in one city with two chrises.
56) night is the most productive part of the day for me.
57) i do not like answering the telephone, and i have been known to have mild panic attacks because of this.
58) i wish i were more punk, but i know that deep down, there's lives a prepster.
59) i have had sex in two countries (but not at the same time).
60) libra with capricorn rising.
61) when i am depressed or stressed, or merely bored and lonely, i will get in my car and drive to malibu.
62) i worry about what people think of me.
63) wallpaper* is my favorite magazine
64) when looking up a word in the dictionary or the encyclepdia, i sometimes get sidetracked and read other entries for hours.
65) my brother died of cancer in his infancy.
66) my sister was always more popular than me.
67) i refused to wear denim until i was ten.
68) listening to "i want candy" by bow wow wow always lifts my spirits.
69) downward dog is my least favorite asana
70) i read the times (los angeles and new york) on a daily basis
71) i started this list at fifty.
72) twenty-four is my favorite number.
73) i am afraid of being alone.
74) i do not look my age, and this sometimes bothers me.
75) after a year, the bouncer at the abbey finally recognizes me.
76) i had my wisdom teeth surgically removed when i was 12.
77) my mother wanted to name me brian, but there already was a brian in the family.
78) as a child, i would never shut up and i would perform whenever i got the chance.
79) now people describe me as quiet, laconic, and unobtrusive.
80) i have used alcohol, thc, and caffiene to get high.
81) as a baby, i was allergic to milk, and i still don't like it.
82) i own over four hundred books, not counting those still at my parents' house.
83) i am notorious for accumulating overdue fines for books and movies.
84) i belong to a secret internet society.
85) i take long showers.
86) i like sharing my long showers with another.
87) drew barrymore and jamie lee curtis both own underwear purchased by me.
88) i own fourteen ties, and yet have only worn a tie about three times this year.
89) there are five different types of hair gel and pomade in my bathroom cabinet.
90) i wrote a play when i was seven. it was a pastoral epic.
91) my eyes change color between vivid green and dull blue.
92) it bothers me to watch french films with poorly translated subtitles.
93) i rarely ever get lost.
94) light, in all its aspects, greatly affects my mood.
95) one of these is a lie.
96) i am fascinated by hinduism and indian culture.
97) i need to shave.
98) i like dive restaurants with great food.
99) this list shall remain unfinished.



matthew | archive |

amici-

thank god for air conditioning. that is, until we get our electric bill. oy vey, it's gettin hot in herre. plus, we had an earthquake last night. four something on the richter. i didn't feel it, but it woke up my roommate. i guess tomorrow will be the plague of the frogs, or maybe locusts. who can say?

dehydratedly,
matteo

matthew | archive |